You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
