the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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