My hand turned me down
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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