she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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