he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
