I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
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