Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Randomize
