you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
