How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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