I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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