This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize