Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
