Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
