I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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