Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
