so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
