i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
