we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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