He passed out mid-signature
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
