He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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