marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Girls should come with a carfax report
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
