Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
