You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
