I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
