Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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