Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
