I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
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