Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Randomize
