If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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