That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
