I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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