my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
