considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
