dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
