Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
