I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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