you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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