I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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