Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Randomize
