I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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