Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Randomize
