Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
