You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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