She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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