ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
