It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
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