oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
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