I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize
