She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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