Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
