DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
