Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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