Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
