he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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