He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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