So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
