I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Randomize
