office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
