we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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