I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize