Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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