is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
