where does the pee come out of this thing
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
