6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
