I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
